I have this little audio clip from Alistair Begg that Jeremy sent me days after we met. So interesting that now I will be marrying the guy that sent me a clip titled “How to Avoid Marital Failure.” Nonetheless, these little nuggets of wisdom ring so true to me that I thought I’d share them with the blog world.

Before Alistair launches into his main clip about marriage, he first addresses the single population, speaking very highly of them, challenging them to pray for the marriages around them. That God uses singles to minister to marrieds more often than you might think.

Here are the ways to avoid marital failure according to Alistair Begg:

1.Do not be so foolish as if to maintain as if it could not happen to you.

2.Do not allow the business of life to disguise neglect

3.Don’t make the mistake of taking each other for granted

4.Be daily in prayer for the health of your marriage and the harmony of your home

5.Be sacrificial in the expression of your love for each other

6.Be imaginative, daring and occassionaly extravagant in displaying your affection (he adds righteousness is not a synonym for boring)

7.Be sure you don’t use your children as the glue that holds you or the wedge that separates you.

8.Be ruthless in resisting anyone and anything that will draw your affections from each other.

9.Be ready to listen to and ready to speak about whats going on inside each other’s heads.

10.Be certain that a great marriage is possible with divine enabling and human effort.

11.Be aware of how quickly time is passing and seize the day.

Audio below:

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Thoughts?

I’m in “Premarital Counseling” or as I think we’ve renamed it “Marriage Mentoring.” We’re reading through a book titled, “Strengthening Your Marriage.” I was warned that the book was written in the 70s and may have some examples that are culturally irrelevant, but I was advised that the content is solid.

It is in this book that I am reading through the 2nd chapter, “The Wife’s Responsibilities” which advises in biblical counsel for “wives submit to their husbands, as to the Lord.”

Sure, I’ve seen these verses, they’re not new – there is talk of submission laced throughout Paul’s writings. I just never chose to take a closer look, because I didn’t feel that it was of much relevance to me, until now. The chapter brings up a few (practical) ways in which wives can submit to their husbands. I find them, interesting, because frankly reading Proverbs 31 and trying to extract my version of burning the midnight oil and gathering wool and flax is a bit more difficult (although, no less relevant).

So, here are 15 things that wives can do to submit – according to Wayne A. Mack:

1. Making the home a safe place (a place of refuge, not of bickering)

2. Being trustworthy and dependable.

3. Maintaining a good attitude

4. Discussing things lovingly, openly, & honestly.

5. Being satisfied with her position, her possessions, her tasks.

6. Being longsuffering, forgiving, and forbearing.

7. Showing an interest in his problems and concerns.

8. Being an industrious, frugal, ambitious, and creative member of the team.

9. Offering suggestions, advice, and corrections when needed in a loving fashion.

10. Keeping herself beautiful, especially in the inner person.

11. Maintaining a good spiritual life.

12. Cooperating with him in raising children.

13. Building loyalty to him into the children.

14. Being grateful to him.

15. Showing confidence in his decisions.

I like this list. I suppose because it gives me practical ways to love & respect my husband. Ways that I can do self checks, and even ask him how I’m doing in these areas once we’re married.

I’m having to take a closer look at this topic of submission. I think it’s been misconstrued and used wrongly, I think it’s been overworked and under valued.

The biblical picture of marriage is beautiful, but without submission it simply won’t work. This is why we must take a closer look.