She says baby
It’s 3 am I must be lonely
When she says baby
Well I can’t help but be scared of it all sometimes
Says the rain’s gonna wash away I believe it
-Matchbox 20

well, there’s a lot to share about my life recently. i wanted to blog sooner, but it seems as if i never had the chance to really sit down and do it. sometimes life is like that for me.

anyway, not this past week, but the week before on campus, we did spiritual interest surveys. they are great ways to get in an evangelistic conversation in 3 minutes flat. i talked with many on campus at uncw that didn’t believe that there was a God, but even now – two weeks later, there is one conversation that really stands out to me. i was with a student involved in our ministry named laura, we were walking and praying that God would lead us to someone that needed to talk. He led us straight to two girls sitting at a picnic table, it was warm out and a big clock overhead displayed the time, for these two girls time is not on their side. we approached them and asked them to help us with the survey, they said they only had about 5 minutes to talk. we promised to keep it at 5 minutes. we sat down, they introduced themselves. fuschia and mimi were there names. laura started with the first question, “do you believe there is a God, and if so, what is He like?” they jolted, “now’s not a good time for this, i’ve been thinking a lot about it.” eager to keep the conversation going i asked, “what do you mean, you’ve been thinking a lot about it.” needless to say, we didn’t need the survey at all. we entered into one of the most exciting conversations about faith that i’ve ever been in. my heart broke as fuschia described her life and how she didn’t think God could ever be a part of that. she asked me, “do you feel sorry for me because you think i’m going to hell?” all i have to say is, wow. i mean, point blank. the holy spirit in me responded with ease – saying, “i don’t know that you will go to hell, one day you might believe in God, besides, why do you care what i think, we’re accountable to a Holy God, not a sinful kelly. it was amazing. God softened her heart. I saw this fuschia totally disarmed. mimi on the other hand was a different sort of wild card, she grew up greek orthodox but believed God to be a personal force interacting with us in the world. two seemingly contradictory ideas. i dialogued with her a little about this. at the 10 minute mark, i told them that i wanted to be sensitive to their time and asked if i could get back in touch with them by email to see if they would be willing to talk any more on the subject. they continued to ask questions and i asked more questions. 30 minutes later, we were still talking, i was mainly listening and praying that God would do something in their hearts. evangelism is always win-win. i was really excited about the conversation, knowing that God was totally doing it. this opened my eyes once again for the spiritual needs on campus. i really believe that fuschia and mimi will both one day know the One True God. i gave them the website everyseahawk.com and told them that a lot of their answers could be found there, but to continue the search for Truth.

this past week was a whirlwind, too. it started really hard. staff team conflict on a new level. God was so gracious this week. i’ve really seen a renewed passion within me for God and His word, i truly praise Him for this! what an amazing thing. one night before i went to bed i was checking my email. i had one from a girl wanting to know the historical and literary context of Habakkuk, i looked it up, sent her the response and then proceeded to read the entire book.

Purpose: To show that God is still in control of the world despite the apparent triumph of evil.

Author: Habakkuk

To whom written: Judah (the southern kingdom) and God’s people everywhere

Date written: Between 612 and 588 BC

Setting: Babylon was becoming the dominant world power and Judah would soon feel Babylon’s destructive force

Key people: Habakkuk, the Chaldeans (Babylonians)

Key place: Judah

it really stood out to me considering the condition of the world right now, the apparent triumph of evil. knowing that Christ has the ultimate victory is our comfort, but what do we do in the meantime? it seems as if evil lurks around every one of life’s corners. so needless to say, staff prayer was alive as we prayed through habbakuk, learning more about how to trust God in the midst of pain and difficulty. i need You. it’s a wake up call. it may seem simple, but i’m telling you, once you begin to realize you really can’t live this life without the Holy Spirit doing it through you, it’s a constant fight. i gave in, and it’s the best decision i’ve ever made.

i’ve been studying 1 Peter. i am learning so much! i don’t even know how to convey it all. God has really been teaching me about how awesome He is. and i don’t mean awesome like a cheerleader might use it for a football team, i mean awesome like, i stand in AWE and i don’t know how to use any other word to describe what He is doing in my heart. indescribable.

one night, the most random thing happened. i met a girl, teaching esl in south korea who loves the Lord and has a heart for Slovak people. wow, so random. mostly because i found her blog by clicking next blog at the top of the page. i left her a comment and told her i am encouraged by her blog and what the Lord is teaching her. then, i added her IM name to my buddy list and literally two seconds later she signed on. we chatted and rejoiced in mutual random encouragement. how awesome is the body of Christ!

friday night was Crusade’s halloween party, we did it to invite and get to know nonCru people. i think it worked. there were about 50 or so people there. it was a good time, with tyler’s sound system.

another really cool thing happened, God really worked in my relationship with Matt, He told me so much of what i needed to know. it feels really good to be in His will. i will seek Him.

more pictures here.

an SNL favorite.

the onion and cnn.

I’m in process, just like you. I don’t claim to have it all figured out, or even a lot of it figured out for that matter. All I know is that God is teaching me in dynamic ways since I’ve moved here to Wilmington. I guess, it all started with this summer, grounded in the Word and Who the Holy Spirit is, then here – marveling at God, His works, the wonder of His creation – land, sea, and sky (all which can be seen from the town I live) and the Cross, why did Jesus die? Big questions and big hopes of these things have been echoing in the chambers of my heart as I search far and wide to learn more of who God is. I heard it said that the least we can do is to wonder at how big God is. That makes me think…usually people approach that in doubt, but if you approach it in wonder, how big is God? Why does He do what He does? Like send Katrina, and Rita, Philip, and Tammy. Why? It’s for His purpose, He will accomplish what He wills.

I’m amazed by God, it’s a good place to be, amazement. It’s really wide though, and I’ve found myself in thinking mode – asking “Why” a lot, like a curious 2 year old. But, I wonder at Him, who He is.

I’m reading Blue Like Jazz, which happens to be fabulous. Don Miller is a great writer, I recently finished Searching for God Knows What. Both very good and out of the box. As I am reading through it I think of a list of friends that I want to read it, is that normal? You may very well be one of them.

There’s a list of books I want to finish before year’s end. So I better get to reading. Good thing I’m on fall break where I can do just that.

Today, I decided with one of my Wilmington friends, Katie, to read and study 1 Peter together. I am so excited about it. It’s so great to have friends here. Katie is on staff with Campus Outreach in Minneapolis, which is very similar to Campus Crusade, in that it was born from Campus Crusade to reach smaller campuses in which CCC was not staffing. CO works out of local churches, so in Minneapolis she will be working out of John Piper’s church, Bethlehem, and is currently raising her support in Wilmington. It’s so good to get to be here with her- and understand what she is going through. Support is so hard.

I love my small group here. It’s so fun. I’ll try to get a picture of them soon so I can post it.

Trust God in all things. Check out this verse. “ Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal. ”- Isaiah 26:4

God is amazing

Today is probably the 5th day in a row that we have had an electrical storm here in Florida. I was with two of my girls on the beach a couple of days ago, we were walking along praying for someone to share our faith with, when the lifeguards (total baywatch style) turned on the siren and started driving down the beach in a truck announcing, “please move away from the water and seek shelter, electrical storm approaching.” Both me, Morgan and Jenn, took it as a good sign that our evangelism time was up for the day.

Things are going great, I am certainly enjoying hearing from the Lord this summer. I do, however, feel as if it has been awhile since I have “felt” a good connection with Him, which is so weird. For some reason, I feel the need to feel connected especially now while I am doing ministry. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I came off of a time that was pretty self scheduled, and usually solitare to here which is all corporate and very scheduled, which I love – it’s just a big adjustment. So why would I expect my relationship with the Lord to be any different.

Today is my day off, we get one a week. It was good, I woke up around 9, headed to Walmart for groceries, made some spinach dip and fruit salad, had lunch, went down to the pool – it immediately started storming, so I headed back up – wrote some cards, took a quick nap, went to the thrift store with my roommates, ate dinner at a mexican restuarant (no where near as good as El Rodeo) went back to Walmart for clothes for the staff hunt, came home, and now I’m here. I know you wanted to know every detail of the day – so you got it.

Things otherwise are good, ministry is fun. I am enjoying discipling my six girls – Jenn, Jessica, Morgan, Rachel, Dawn, and Ashley. They are really sweet and mostly teachable. I am enjoying learning how to dig deep into their lives and hear from their hearts about where they are in their walk with the Lord. It is such a mutual process to realize that no one in the Christian life has “arrived” and we all have to help each other along.

Tomorrow I will meet with several more girls, and then we have a staff hunt, we are dressing up as different characters – I think I’m a middle aged woman with a pareo and sunhat and large sunglasses, one of my roommates is a pregnant muslim, the other a harley biker chick, then the 3rd is very Audrey Hepburn (she will be thrilled if she knew I labeled her as such). So the goal of the staff hunt is for the students to find us throughout Daytona. We will be at this place called Ocean Walk hanging out and ‘trying’ to look nonchalant.

On Sunday we are going to the Juvenille Detention Center, my group will be going to a mod where we will share two testimonies and do a skit. I think it will be a really interesting time. My girls are really excited to see what the Lord does during this time. I even had one of my students volunteer to give her testimony which was an absolute shock, so I think God is really working to change their lives this summer. If you think about it, send up some prayers for us.

Oh, big news! My dad got a job! Yay!

More big news, I have somewhere to live in Wilmington! It is super cute. Can’t wait to have visitors!

Well, I’ll post some pictures of Daytona, but I’m headed to bed. Ministry can be exhausting sometimes.

Please pray for me and my relationship with the Lord – pray that I can feel a real connection with Him and that my walk with Christ is authentic.

Thank you oh so much.

Okay, so really, I haven’t been this hyper in I don’t know how long. I think it must have something to do with delirium, considering, I’ve been up since 5:30 – when I went to bed at 2, so that’s 3.5 hours of sleep, I know – I AM the math genius. Why, have I been up since 5:30, well I thought you’d never ask! See, my sister, being the responsible 21 year old that she is, locked herself out and so, I – the good older sister that I am, let her in and, needless to say, I’ve been up ever since. Well, except for the 30 min nap I took at Matt’s.

Anyway, this weekend was a big one, Saturday was class day for 2005 and today they graduated! Wow, my lil sis class, just up and done it. Congratulations 05! I love ya!

Yesterday I went to Erinn’s wedding, that was fun.

Today I began the huge task of cleaning OUT my room that I’ve lived in for 24 years now. I will be moving out – for good, in August when I report to UNCW. But first, I must trek to Daytona for summer project. I am so excited – summer project is my favorite!

So, does this mean you’re done with support? Not quite, but I am proceeding in faith that God will complete my support, by the time I have to leave for Daytona (May 24th). I get to be there with J and Meredith, wow, it’s gonna be a good one.

I think I’m about to crash. Non- Dave Matthew’s style.

It’s Wednesday and I am trying to sort through the many things I’ve gotta get done before May 23rd. I just feel like my window of opportunity is slowing closing in with support. The amount left to raise keeps increasing (ie people keep lowering amounts, or dropping off my support team) which is fine, I understand that not everyone is called to give to this specific niche of ministry. In the theme park of life, trusting God is the wildest ride of all.

I just read Jason’s blog and it somehow inspired me to feed mine with ink.

I have recently become intrigued by the facebook. It’s a really cool way to be internet popular, and so far I’m losing the popularity game.

It’s currently 4:12pm and I haven’t had a thing to eat today, my eating, sleeping, and working out habits have all been out of whack this past week and I can’t quite seem to figure out the source of it. I am going to Lynnwood Grill tonight with my Wednesday night group, well at least some of them. My Wednesday night group is the same group I go to the gathering with on 1st, 3rd, and 5th Wednesday of the month – this is the 2nd Wednesday so we still like to get together and fellowship.

I have had some major discension with me and one of my friends. We can’t seem to resolve things, hopefully we are going to find some time tonight to talk things over, email or IM are definitely not my preferred method of communication when dealing with conflict.

On another note, I’ve also become an advocate for firefox and the tabbed browsing that so enhances my daily net activites. You really should DL it if you haven’t already.