The morning star is low on the horizon. There are three more stars pulsing faintly in the city sky. But even if I can’t see a skyful of stars they are there above me nevertheless; the Milky Way, our own galaxy swings somewhere in the vast dark about the city lights.

All those stars. Suns. More suns than can be imagined. Great flaming brilliant atomic furnaces, the bursting of their atoms providing life instead of death. Providing life for their planets….

O sing unto God
and sing praises unto his Name
magnify him that rideth upon the heavens
praise Him in his name.

JAH!

Thank you Madeline, for being so bold, for being unafraid to embrace, to admit, to sing, to write. Thanks for expressing yourself so well, even after teachers thought you were a failure. May we all learn to live and know that who we are now is not who we will become, we are in process, even if that process has mistakes, blatant ones.

I’m inspired by you. I will finish your book, it’s the best piece of literature I have picked up in a long time. I will reread others that I long took for granted of yours.

Oh, to have a conversation with someone so unpreoccupied with their neighbor that they can’t be fully themselves. I think I know no one like this.

Thank you for writing so I could read, be inspired, and hope for something More.

in a galaxy, far too familiar and far to foreign,

Kelly

(this impromptu letter was written to Madeline L’Engle, after discovering her writing (again) just yesterday, in The Irrational Season)

When something is taken from you, it’s hard to fully swallow. The reasoning, the lack of respect, oh, many thoughts have gone through my mind. In the end, it’s amazing to see how things work out. I could write a book, and really I might. I don’t want to bore you with the details and all the inbetweens, but man, there is much to tell. I’m reminded of  Romans 8:28,

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our  condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

The saga continues into next week, it’s almost over, the working things together for good, that’s never ending. Oh how clear.

From wherever Spring arrives, to heal the ground.

I’ve realized that I’ve been “trapped” in by the way I see myself and the way others see me. That I live out what others think of me more than I become who I really am. That I don’t always feel the freedom to express who I am, that I’m more concerned with what everyone else thinks. This is no way to live, no, not as a child of God – who has been set free! Who no longer has to conform to the pattern of this world! I’ve been set free, to freely be me! And so as I embrace this freedom, it’s a scary thing, the real deal. To not hold myself back, to be open, to freely delight myself in God, and to yell freedom! at the top of my lungs when Satan tempts me to despair!

Thank you Jesus, for freedom! You have changed my life.

And how much different is it now as you live in God’s freedom, your lives healed and expansive in holiness? (Romans 6:19)

For those interested in picking a word, just follow these simple steps (taken from myoneword.org)

So how do you go about picking a word? We’ve listed out a few steps to help you get started!

step 1: DETERMINE THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT TO BECOME

The first step is to simply take some time and decide what kind of person you want to be at the end of this year. This goes beyond simply being healthier and wealthier, but it must drive deep into your soul. What about the condition of your heart? What about the person that God Himself has created you to be?

step 2: IDENTIFY THE CHARACTERISTICS OF THAT PERSON

Get a picture of that person and then simply identify their major characteristics. Is that person gentle? Is that person generous? What are the qualities of the person you want to become?

step 3: simply pick a word

Once you have a list of the characteristics, simply pick a word. There might be fifteen things that you want to change, but you must resist the temptation to promise you will do them all. Instead, simply commit to ONE WORD.

This will provide you with a lens to see the changes you need to make as well as a way to determine whether or not change is actually happening. Understand that this process is hard, but staying focused on your word will help you to struggle in the right direction so that you can actually see God working in your life.

HELP ALONG THE WAY

Before you embark on this journey, a little word of warning: don’t be surprised if living out your “one word” feels unnatural and awkward at first. Remember, the reason you want to change is due to the fact that this godly characteristic is not currently present in your day-to-day life.

This is why we’ve developed MYONEWORD.ORG, to give you the resources and surround you with a community that will help keep your word in front of you all year long. Here are some ways our website can help you with your word in 2010.

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR BLOG

Visit our blog to access weekly exercises you can use to work on your word throughout year. You can also comment about the posts to interact with the online community about how you are using your word. To make sure you don’t miss a thing, SUBSCRIBE to the blog to get an email every time a new post hits the site!

SIGN UP FOR AN ACCOUNT

Creating an account on myoneword.org is designed to help keep you thinking about your word all year long. When you sign up for an account on our website you will be able to:

• Update your profile with your word and the inspiration behind it
• Share your word with our online community
• Receive emails monthly that remind you about your word and challenge you to keep your word in front of you
• Sign up for our newsletter, updating you about changes and added features on myoneword.org
• Review monthly questions for reflection that are posted in our blog on your profile page (COMING Q1 2010)
• Write about your reflections in a personalized online journal (COMING Q1 2010)
• Connect your MYONEWORD.ORG account with Facebook for added features (COMING Q1 2010)

Visit our Registration Page to setup an account today at MYONEWORD.ORG and become part of a community intent on encouraging and supporting you towards the change you want this year!

Goin’ Back 10 Years from PC3 on Vimeo.

From reading, Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit by Francis Chan, I’ve realized that I’ve somewhat boxed the Spirit in. Now, mind you, I’m only through chapter 3 and have 4 more to go before this book is closed.

A few things that strike me from reading this book is that the way I “see” the Spirit is due to my walk early on. I’ve been bruised pretty deeply by going through years of reciting a small booklet with the word, “Satisfied?” emblazened across the center. And upon flipping the book over you see the word, “Satisfied.” Just a bit of punctuation, but I think at this point in my life I can say has given me the wrong understanding of who the Holy Spirit is. As if, MY SATISFACTION had anything to do with it. I understand though the famous quote,

“God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him”

Being satisfied IN God, is so very different than getting what I want (I’ve learned over my 29 years that these are two totally different things.

Now, let me say that I am not bashing this booklet or the organizations that choose to use said booklet, I am however, stating that this booklet did not teach me all I ever needed to know about living a life dedicated and submitted to the Holy Spirit.

While going through chapter 3 of Chan’s book, I came across this bulleted list that hit me as surprisingly refreshing and freeing, maybe just seeing things put a different way, or reading them back to back, not sure, regardless I feel enlivened to these truths and wanted to share them with you here to encourage your hearts. “… but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrew 10:25

Here is that list:

• The Spirit helps us speak when we are in precarious situations and need to bear witness (Mark 13:11; Luke 12:12)
• The Counselor teaches and reminds us of what we need to know and remember. He is our comforter, our advisor, our encourager, and our strength. He guides us in the way we should go (Ps. 143:10; John 14-16; Acts 9:31; 13:2;15:28; 1 Cor 2:9-10; 1 John 5:6-8).
• From the Spirit we receive power to be God’s witness to the ends of the earth. It is the Spirit who draws people to the gospel, the Spirit who equips us with the strength we need to accomplish God’s purposes. The Holy Spirit not only initially draws people to God, He also draws believers closer to Jesus (Acts 1:8; Rom 8:26; Eph. 3:16-19).
• By the power of the Spirit we put to death the misdeeds of the body. The Spirit sets us free from the sins we cannot get rid of on our own. This is a lifelong process we entered into, in partnership with the Spirit, when we first believed (e.g., Rom 8:2).
• Through the Spirit we have received a spirit of adoption as children, which leads us into intimacy with the Father, instead of a relationship based on fear and slavery. The Spirit bears witness to us that we are His children.
• The Holy Spirit convicts people of sin. He does this both before we initially enter into right relationship with God and as we journey through this life as believers (John 16:7-11; 1 Thess 1:5).
• The Spirit brings life and freedom. Where the Spirit is, there is freedom, not bondage or slavery. In our world that is plagued with death, this is a profound truth that points to real hope (Rom 8:10-11; 2 Cor 3:17).
• By the power of the Holy Spirit we abound with hope because our God is a God of hope, who fills His children with all joy and peace (Rom 15:13).
• As members of God’s kingdom community, each of us is given a manifestation of the Spirit in our lives for the purpose of the common good. We all have something to offer because of what the Spirit gives us (1 Cor 12:7).
• The fruit of being led by the Spirit includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These attitudes and actions will characterize our lives as we allow ourselves to be grown and molded by the Spirit. The Spirit is our sanctifier (2 Cor. 3:18; Gal.5:22-23).

It felt so good to type those – to be liberated by the Spirit is freedom, indeed! I’m praying that my life will reflect the deepness and holiness of the Spirit, as I continue to walk with God – and praying that yours will as well.

I’m thankful for the way He’s made a way for Jeremy and I to live in Wilmington, the way He seemingly restored my transmission and the way He’s providing for itty bitty wedding details – and bigger ones, financially, and in many other areas. I stand in awe.

I was reflecting on His provision, trying to sum it up in a few short adjectives. I came up with these.

God’s provision is complete, thorough, and perfect.

I’ve seen God provide in ways that I didn’t understand and later came to realize…that without me doing anything, God does provide. Trusting God is a whole other ball game, but it’s beautiful and brings peace.

Are you trusting God for provision or are you relying on your own strengths?

Being engaged is an odd time, though I think it helps me deal with some real issues that I’m faced with. I’ve been single for quite some time -(single here means not married) and I loved it! I am so thankful for the time I got to go overseas (many-a time), I got to enjoy single life making new friends, moving to a place of which I wasn’t familiar (several times). And now, another unknown -marriage! We’re reading up in a marriage book that helps us walk through different topics like Money, Conflict, Sex (yes, even that), and Family. It does help, but I realize that I won’t know what it’s like till I get there.

If you’re single don’t mope, be glad you have this time, but also know that when he or she does come along it might send a shock through your system. It has been a big adjustment for me to learn how to live with someone else alongside of me (and he lives 2 hours away). I’ve got to get used to having someone else around – and learning to put him first! It’s not the easiest thing because it reveals my selfishness through it all.

I’m enjoying it too, though. It’s nice to have Jeremy around. His opinion is so helpful often. His ways are so gentle. He is caring and loves me in a different way than I’ve ever been loved before.

Being alone though, is a state of mind. There are many people who are married now who feel alone, for one reason or another, may that never be Jeremy and I. I pray that God unifies us and bonds us together in love, so that the space between is measured in love.

You can’t hope in marriage to satisfy you, cause it won’t. Just like a new shirt won’t. Even a new tv, it won’t.

Let’s put our hope, our trust, our everything in the Lord.

We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. Psalm 33:20

It’s an awareness, a presence, a reality of God’s holiness, His spirit – in me, around me, in others. It’s better than the alternative.

Are you fueled?

It’s such a pretty day – it’s so bright out, green. I am contemplating going to the beach, knowing that time to read and journal is almost the most therapeutic thing for me.
I’m in the midst of cutting back in my life. Praying about what things to stay involved in and what things I should just let go. These are not easy decisions.

In the midst of a lot of life changes, I think I need to anchor myself so solidly on the One who doesn’t change. His ways are pefect and everlasting. His ways at last even the hardest of my seasons.

This morning I got the opportunity to read about God’s jealousy for our hearts, for Isreal (His chosen). I am so amazed at how God continues to fulfill His covenants even when we’re adulterers to His namesake.

But, Isreal, why didn’t you pay attention? Why did you turn aside to other Gods? Why do I do the same thing? Awaken my heart, Lord. Let me not turn aside to false idols. I long to worship you with my life. To take a fresh approach.