I like it when people are vulnerable, when they are real, when they take friendship to the next level. These are the friendships that I treasure and cherish, those that even though we haven’t spoken in weeks, months, years, we can pick up right where we left off. Is it just me, or does this get more and more rare as life rolls on?

I’m so inclined to think it does. Let’s be friends. Stop acting like you have it all together, stop wanting me to have it altogether, because I just won’t. I don’t. That’s plain ol truth.

Today, like many days, I sit here, thinking, reading, journaling, and realizing that at the end of the day all of my disappointments come crashing in, and usually they have to do with relationships. The things that consume me day in and out, don’t have to do with if I have the latest iPad or i-whatever (even though I might act otherwise). The things that I think about most have to do with my friends. Some that I’ve lost, some that I hope for deeper relationships with.

I long, and crave for these friendships, somewhere, out there. In this life stage, where I am now. Because the truth is, I’m just not where I used to be. Life is different now, life is great now as it was then. I’m praying for deeper friendships in 2012, I know they don’t come easy, and I know I have to put work in for them, but man, do I miss them.

This isn’t directed at anyone specifically, just a generic thought process of reality.

Now, Oswald Chambers was such a stinkin’ genius when it comes to communicating truth, definitely up there with CS Lewis and other eloquent Christian writers. I just love how his words bang me upside the head sometimes. This one today struck me, as I think we, in this generation are the guiltiest.

“If we preach the effects of Redemption in human life instead of the revelation regarding Jesus, the result in those who listen is not new birth, but refined spiritual culture, and the Spirit of God cannot witness to it because such preaching is in another domain. We have to see that we are in such living sympathy with God that as we proclaim His truth He can create in souls the things which He alone can do. ” -Oswald Chambers

Can I get an Amen?

Today a book a free book I requested from Gospel for Asia, called No Longer a Slumdog came in the mail, I started reading it and I couldn’t put it down. It seemed so timely because here I was all wrapped up in my due date, my life without AC, western inconveniences, and then I cracked the cover.

Chapter One, no lie, tells this story of a little boy named Mutu sold into slavery by his uncle (a drug and alcohol addict) and when Mutu didn’t make enough money begging on the streets in India, his mafia pimp poured gasoline over him and burned him. The next few lines read like this…

Even after Mutu regained consciousness he was unable to say a word for several weeks. For months he suffered excruciating pain.

Mutu did eventually recover, but he still lives in a state of fear. He says the worst part of the whole experience is the agony of not knowing what happened to his little sister.

And then… the kicker. Here I am 40 weeks and a day into this pregnancy, and reading this…

Let me ask you, what was your childhood like? Your parents probably started planning for you even before your conception. Your medical care began while you were still in your mother’s womb. In all likelihood, your mother gave birth to you in a sterile hospital room, surrounded by well trained doctors and nurses.

After a clean and safe delivery, you probably were taken home to a wallpapered nursery and brand new baby blankets. You were fed on demand and kept warm, clean and protected from harm. To prevent any serious illlnesses, you received all the required immunizations. As you grew into a healthy child, you were given clean clothes to wear and toys to play with.

When you reached school age, your parents took you to the store to buy your school supplies. If you were like most children your mom sent you off to school in bright new clothes with a nourishing lunch. Maybe she even drove you there herself.

Does this treatment of children sound strange or unusual? Not at all. It is completely normal in countries and homes of financial means. Even acknowledging that there are unfortunate exceptions, I doubt anyone reading this book would disagree that this kind of security, provision and education are a child’s birthright.

The reality for children born in developing countries is often a far cry from what I just described. The tragedy for untold millions of children living today is that they have never had even one of these childhood experiences.

(Chapter 1, No Longer a Slumdog, by K.P. Yohannan)

To say that I was balling my eyes out is an understatement. I know this baby will come when he’s ready. I’m not worried one bit about that.

Gaining perspective in the midst of our circumstances is something we all need to do. To say that we have “rich people problems” or “first world problems” is no joke, it is absolutely the truth.

If you want to read this book, you can request your free copy here. 

I can hardly put the book down. It’s eye opening. It’s reality.

I’m reading through Proverbs 3:1-8 with my church, we’re even attempting to memorize it! The thing is, this whole tablet of my heart thing, in verse 3 strikes me every single time…

Proverbs 3:3-4
3 Do not let kindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 So that you will find favor and good repute
In the sight of God and man.

I think it’s amazing that the two qualities chosen by the Psalmist above are kindness and truth, in the NIV it’s love & faithfulness, in the KJV mercy & truth, in the NLT loyalty & kindness.

Okay, english fails us, obviously the Hebrew would be much more encompassing…

kindness, faithfulness, mercy, loyalty, truth – write these on the tablet of your heart.

It begs the question, if these aren’t written on the tablet of your heart, then what is? Worry, stress, financial strain, lust, greed, impatience, jealousy, anxiety – to name a few. What if we replaced those today? What if we replaced worry with truth, stress with kindness, impatience with mercy, lust with loyalty, greed with faithfulness…

I imagine the tablet of my heart, it’s rollercoaster-ness, and how much it could benefit from a rewrite. And bound around my neck, for the world to see, faithfulness, kindness, truth, love… oh what favor that I would be found in, in the sight of God and man. If, I could just rip off the binding of worry, of impatience, and replace them.

What refreshing words. What’s on the tablet of your heart? What’s bound around your neck? 

Follow along with us at pc3devos.

It feels painful. But it’s undeniable when it’s happening. That feeling of discomfort, for awhile, or for a long time. The kind of change I’m talking about comes from within, not external circumstances with change. But that kind of gut-level, heart-level deep kind of change that comes along every now and then & makes you re-evaluate, and re-examine life as you know it.

I was recently with a group of women who were talking about how they couldn’t pick out circumstances in their lives, like when someone asks you a question, for example, “What was a pivotal point in your walk with God?” They would come up blank. I don’t know if it’s some kind of grand flaw, or a blessing in disquise, but I’ve always been so introspective, so self-aware, that at times it’s really painful. I know when I’m “not myself.” I know when I am completely myself. I even know the in-betweens.

A lot of it is necessary to go through life to know the “triggers” to read the internal “gauges.” In a book that truly changed my life, called Changes that Heal, he talks about how there is a formula for change.

conflict + time = change

Interestingly enough, in my Beth Moore study (mentioned in this post) she talks about this formula, in the life of David, how the dynasty of Saul (over time) grew weaker and the kingdom of David was growing stronger. Bringing about the Lord’s promise.

In my life lately there has been a bit of conflict, with my health, wrestling with the Lord, and more that I’d rather not mention. It’s so comforting to know that this conflict, will bring about change in my heart and my life. As I am formed closer into His image, as I was created.

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

Becoming what we already are in Christ, what a glorious and painful process!

I just went back and read my tumblr from 2007 & 2008. It was really cool to take a look back and hear about my journey of going to South Korea, my prep for Slovakia and many other things. I was very introspective in those days. I took a lot of time to write & journal and blog. Now, it’s become less of a priority and I fill my time in other ways. I’m hoping to get back to the journaling, the blogging, the sharing. Life is sometimes mundane, but I find that it’s not if it’s recorded, and if it’s chronicled and captured in a way that later can be read, like pages in a history book.

I found that I blogged about God, about His work within me, about life change and openly about many spiritual issues that can’t just be wiped away. I want to experience life that deeply because it will happen regardless… and I don’t want it to pass me by.

Here’s to a more intentional blog in 2011.

image by design nation

Balance is an incredible thing. It allows us to walk down the street, drive our cars, climb mountains, ride a bike, do yoga, and yet it’s so taken for granted.

Today, in reading Colossians, balance was mentioned a few times by the commentary, a few thoughts on balance were that it’s rare to achieve it in our Christian walks, again, taken for granted. We quite, honestly, think that we can live our Christian lives focused on just one thing, even good things. Take for instance – the study of scripture, Scripture is incredible, it’s God’s word, it’s meant for us to love & enjoy, and dig deeper, it reveals the general will of God, but is it everything?

Or even service and volunteering. While it’s such a good thing to volunteer, and serve, it is once again not everything.

Obedience, while great, & fantastic when done in combo with the above two (knowing God’s word & service) might still fall short.

While reading a book today by Warren Wiersbe, on Colossians called Be Complete, a point that was brought back time & again was that of balance, of completeness. What is it that defines your balance in life?

Of course there are many aspects of life to find balance in. Physical, Mental, Social, Spiritual, Family, & Financial. How are these acheived in your daily life?

For most this thought process is overwhelming, that’s why books like Choosing to Cheat by Andy Stanley have become so popular. A book on balance.

A prior chapter Wiersbe writes about how we, as believers, can all too often get caught up the wrong thing, devoting our time & energy to that thing. A few things that He says that really stood out to me from Chapters 2 & 3 are these:

Human nature has the tendency to want to follow men instead of God – to want “something new” instead of the basic foundational truths of the gospel.

Saving faith involves the mind, the emotions, and the will. With the mind we understand the truth of the gospel, and with the heart we feel conviction and the need to be saved. But it is only when we exercise the will and commit ourselves to Christ that the process is complete. Faith is not mental assent to a body of doctrines, no matter how true those doctrines may be. Faith is not emotional concern. Faith is commitment to Jesus Christ.

Wherever there is a relationship of faith and love, there will be a growing hope.

a beautiful balance, that can exist, one that produces hope!

Another quote on balance, by Wiersbe

Knowledge, conduct, service and character must always go together. We know God’s will that we might obey it, and in obeying it, we serve Him and grow in Christian character. While none of us is perfectly balanced in these four factors, we ought to strive for that balance.

oh and one more… please?

Worship and service are not competitive. They always go together.

I will try not to bore you with quotes from Wiersbe, but I have been incredibly refreshed by his writing style, the way he brings scripture into full view!

I want to learn the balance, I want to be transformed by love. I want to have a growing hope, a strong relationship between the three. I want to grow in knowledge, conduct, service and character. This is my prayer.

When something is taken from you, it’s hard to fully swallow. The reasoning, the lack of respect, oh, many thoughts have gone through my mind. In the end, it’s amazing to see how things work out. I could write a book, and really I might. I don’t want to bore you with the details and all the inbetweens, but man, there is much to tell. I’m reminded of  Romans 8:28,

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our  condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

The saga continues into next week, it’s almost over, the working things together for good, that’s never ending. Oh how clear.

I’ve picked my one word! finally!

I’ve realized that I’ve been “trapped” in by the way I see myself and the way others see me. That I live out what others think of me more than I become who I really am. That I don’t always feel the freedom to express who I am, that I’m more concerned with what everyone else thinks. This is no way to live, no, not as a child of God – who has been set free! Who no longer has to conform to the pattern of this world! I’ve been set free, to freely be me! And so as I embrace this freedom, it’s a scary thing, the real deal. To not hold myself back, to be open, to freely delight myself in God, and to yell freedom! at the top of my lungs when Satan tempts me to despair!

Thank you Jesus, for freedom! You have changed my life.

And how much different is it now as you live in God’s freedom, your lives healed and expansive in holiness? (Romans 6:19)

For those interested in picking a word, just follow these simple steps (taken from myoneword.org)

So how do you go about picking a word? We’ve listed out a few steps to help you get started!

step 1: DETERMINE THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT TO BECOME

The first step is to simply take some time and decide what kind of person you want to be at the end of this year. This goes beyond simply being healthier and wealthier, but it must drive deep into your soul. What about the condition of your heart? What about the person that God Himself has created you to be?

step 2: IDENTIFY THE CHARACTERISTICS OF THAT PERSON

Get a picture of that person and then simply identify their major characteristics. Is that person gentle? Is that person generous? What are the qualities of the person you want to become?

step 3: simply pick a word

Once you have a list of the characteristics, simply pick a word. There might be fifteen things that you want to change, but you must resist the temptation to promise you will do them all. Instead, simply commit to ONE WORD.

This will provide you with a lens to see the changes you need to make as well as a way to determine whether or not change is actually happening. Understand that this process is hard, but staying focused on your word will help you to struggle in the right direction so that you can actually see God working in your life.

HELP ALONG THE WAY

Before you embark on this journey, a little word of warning: don’t be surprised if living out your “one word” feels unnatural and awkward at first. Remember, the reason you want to change is due to the fact that this godly characteristic is not currently present in your day-to-day life.

This is why we’ve developed MYONEWORD.ORG, to give you the resources and surround you with a community that will help keep your word in front of you all year long. Here are some ways our website can help you with your word in 2010.

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR BLOG

Visit our blog to access weekly exercises you can use to work on your word throughout year. You can also comment about the posts to interact with the online community about how you are using your word. To make sure you don’t miss a thing, SUBSCRIBE to the blog to get an email every time a new post hits the site!

SIGN UP FOR AN ACCOUNT

Creating an account on myoneword.org is designed to help keep you thinking about your word all year long. When you sign up for an account on our website you will be able to:

• Update your profile with your word and the inspiration behind it
• Share your word with our online community
• Receive emails monthly that remind you about your word and challenge you to keep your word in front of you
• Sign up for our newsletter, updating you about changes and added features on myoneword.org
• Review monthly questions for reflection that are posted in our blog on your profile page (COMING Q1 2010)
• Write about your reflections in a personalized online journal (COMING Q1 2010)
• Connect your MYONEWORD.ORG account with Facebook for added features (COMING Q1 2010)

Visit our Registration Page to setup an account today at MYONEWORD.ORG and become part of a community intent on encouraging and supporting you towards the change you want this year!

I’m still going with the “best of 2009′s” but I’m a few days behind. So here is my attempt to catch up!

Best restuarant moment; Would have to be any time I go to Osteria Chicetti, I mean, this place is incredible. The atmosphere, the food is sensational, and the price isn’t so bad either! The italian salad is to die for, the Parma pizza is a delicious combination of flavors, and my friends and I swoon over their white bean dip.

Best Article: Pretty much, I’ve searched and I’ve looked and I guess the conclusion is that I didn’t keep track of articles very well. I did love this article. An article about “how to be happy in business” the venn diagram shows off where I am and where I’d like to be – I like the article for delivering practical perspective. [Dear Kelly in 2010, please keep track of articles better.]