I have come to the realization that my blog is too serious – like, how I talk, isn’t how I type and I think that bothers me on some level. Here’s to lightening things up!

okay, forgive the extremely cheesy title, but, I have plenty of things in my head that I’d like to get out and onto the blog. a few of them are.

1. my recap of Forgotten God

2. how to change your name (the easy and cheap way) – when you get married… (I’m not quite sure how to change your name if you just feel like it, although – side note, a guy in my high school changed his name to Rubber Cactus, no joke. )

3. first 2 months of marriage: the update

4. and perhaps by that time, that I blog about the first 3, I’ll be done with my next book: A Million Miles in A Thousand Years by my fave author, Donald Miller. 

I suppose I don’t have much to contribute on the subject of the Spirit, other than to recognize and point out the fact that the way that we describe Him, is what He is – Holy. I guess I’ve sort of taken that for granted and almost considered it to be His first name – Holy, last name Spirit. Of course, this is silly, and Holy here is an adjective and a noun.

From reading, Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit by Francis Chan, I’ve realized that I’ve somewhat boxed the Spirit in. Now, mind you, I’m only through chapter 3 and have 4 more to go before this book is closed.

A few things that strike me from reading this book is that the way I “see” the Spirit is due to my walk early on. I’ve been bruised pretty deeply by going through years of reciting a small booklet with the word, “Satisfied?” emblazened across the center. And upon flipping the book over you see the word, “Satisfied.” Just a bit of punctuation, but I think at this point in my life I can say has given me the wrong understanding of who the Holy Spirit is. As if, MY SATISFACTION had anything to do with it. I understand though the famous quote,

“God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him”

Being satisfied IN God, is so very different than getting what I want (I’ve learned over my 29 years that these are two totally different things.

Now, let me say that I am not bashing this booklet or the organizations that choose to use said booklet, I am however, stating that this booklet did not teach me all I ever needed to know about living a life dedicated and submitted to the Holy Spirit.

While going through chapter 3 of Chan’s book, I came across this bulleted list that hit me as surprisingly refreshing and freeing, maybe just seeing things put a different way, or reading them back to back, not sure, regardless I feel enlivened to these truths and wanted to share them with you here to encourage your hearts. “… but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrew 10:25

Here is that list:

• The Spirit helps us speak when we are in precarious situations and need to bear witness (Mark 13:11; Luke 12:12)
• The Counselor teaches and reminds us of what we need to know and remember. He is our comforter, our advisor, our encourager, and our strength. He guides us in the way we should go (Ps. 143:10; John 14-16; Acts 9:31; 13:2;15:28; 1 Cor 2:9-10; 1 John 5:6-8).
• From the Spirit we receive power to be God’s witness to the ends of the earth. It is the Spirit who draws people to the gospel, the Spirit who equips us with the strength we need to accomplish God’s purposes. The Holy Spirit not only initially draws people to God, He also draws believers closer to Jesus (Acts 1:8; Rom 8:26; Eph. 3:16-19).
• By the power of the Spirit we put to death the misdeeds of the body. The Spirit sets us free from the sins we cannot get rid of on our own. This is a lifelong process we entered into, in partnership with the Spirit, when we first believed (e.g., Rom 8:2).
• Through the Spirit we have received a spirit of adoption as children, which leads us into intimacy with the Father, instead of a relationship based on fear and slavery. The Spirit bears witness to us that we are His children.
• The Holy Spirit convicts people of sin. He does this both before we initially enter into right relationship with God and as we journey through this life as believers (John 16:7-11; 1 Thess 1:5).
• The Spirit brings life and freedom. Where the Spirit is, there is freedom, not bondage or slavery. In our world that is plagued with death, this is a profound truth that points to real hope (Rom 8:10-11; 2 Cor 3:17).
• By the power of the Holy Spirit we abound with hope because our God is a God of hope, who fills His children with all joy and peace (Rom 15:13).
• As members of God’s kingdom community, each of us is given a manifestation of the Spirit in our lives for the purpose of the common good. We all have something to offer because of what the Spirit gives us (1 Cor 12:7).
• The fruit of being led by the Spirit includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These attitudes and actions will characterize our lives as we allow ourselves to be grown and molded by the Spirit. The Spirit is our sanctifier (2 Cor. 3:18; Gal.5:22-23).

It felt so good to type those – to be liberated by the Spirit is freedom, indeed! I’m praying that my life will reflect the deepness and holiness of the Spirit, as I continue to walk with God – and praying that yours will as well.

I wish I knew at times more about that lifestyle; unhurried, but not foolish enough to be unbothered. I wonder what it would be like if we weren’t always rushing in for the next thing, but took more time to really enjoy, and partake in this gift of breath and life.

I reflect on this subject only because of my condition to want things to be further along than they are, always. I want the house to be put together, there to be enough storage space, for all of the trips to goodwill to be taken, all of the furniture in it’s proper place, all of the storage to be perfectly organized, the groceries to be bought, the shelves to be dusted, the trash taken out, the recycling emptied, the plants watered, and so on. And it just doesn’t happen, it’s a slow process.

I hope in these day-to-days I see the beauty of the moment, I really don’t want to miss this time of my life as a newlywed, I really don’t want to hope for the next thing.

The unhurried life, is a life I strive for. (ironic?)

I’m in “Premarital Counseling” or as I think we’ve renamed it “Marriage Mentoring.” We’re reading through a book titled, “Strengthening Your Marriage.” I was warned that the book was written in the 70s and may have some examples that are culturally irrelevant, but I was advised that the content is solid.

It is in this book that I am reading through the 2nd chapter, “The Wife’s Responsibilities” which advises in biblical counsel for “wives submit to their husbands, as to the Lord.”

Sure, I’ve seen these verses, they’re not new – there is talk of submission laced throughout Paul’s writings. I just never chose to take a closer look, because I didn’t feel that it was of much relevance to me, until now. The chapter brings up a few (practical) ways in which wives can submit to their husbands. I find them, interesting, because frankly reading Proverbs 31 and trying to extract my version of burning the midnight oil and gathering wool and flax is a bit more difficult (although, no less relevant).

So, here are 15 things that wives can do to submit – according to Wayne A. Mack:

1. Making the home a safe place (a place of refuge, not of bickering)

2. Being trustworthy and dependable.

3. Maintaining a good attitude

4. Discussing things lovingly, openly, & honestly.

5. Being satisfied with her position, her possessions, her tasks.

6. Being longsuffering, forgiving, and forbearing.

7. Showing an interest in his problems and concerns.

8. Being an industrious, frugal, ambitious, and creative member of the team.

9. Offering suggestions, advice, and corrections when needed in a loving fashion.

10. Keeping herself beautiful, especially in the inner person.

11. Maintaining a good spiritual life.

12. Cooperating with him in raising children.

13. Building loyalty to him into the children.

14. Being grateful to him.

15. Showing confidence in his decisions.

I like this list. I suppose because it gives me practical ways to love & respect my husband. Ways that I can do self checks, and even ask him how I’m doing in these areas once we’re married.

I’m having to take a closer look at this topic of submission. I think it’s been misconstrued and used wrongly, I think it’s been overworked and under valued.

The biblical picture of marriage is beautiful, but without submission it simply won’t work. This is why we must take a closer look.

It’s crazy that this past Saturday was the one year mark for being at home in America. I can’t believe it’s been a year! I really, really can’t. Oddly enough (they say it takes as long as you are away to reacclimate yourself again to culture) and my, I’d have to agree! About 3 weeks ago I started feeling quite normal again in my own skin, even energy seemed to be restored to my body and soul that was lacking. Something clicked, not sure what. It’s not been the easiest year though, things have been hard, and the picture I had in my head of returning didn’t all pan out. Some things were much better than I ever could have imagined and some, were just simply, different.

Last year, in about a week after my return, I watched my little sister marry her husband Jason.

The next day, I pointed my car east and headed to Wilmington. I would repeat this trip several times, and move in with the Mixon’s for a few weeks. (I’m still so grateful).

At the end of July, I met my future husband. I walked around college campuses with him, retold stories of Budapest and Serbia, sipped on frappacinos, and stayed up insanely late talking with him.

At the end of August, I packed up a moving truck and moved to Wilmington with all of my stuff, on a one way trip east. I didn’t own a car, and had sold pretty much everything I owned (including furniture) before I moved to Slovakia a year earlier.

In the coming weeks life would change rapidly. I bought a car. Got my first iphone. Started working at Port City. Started dating Jer. Purchased a couch.

It was quite a whirlwind upon my return, but it was fun. I was soaking in things that I had taken for granted.

The next few months would bring hardship, cultural difficulty, relational issues, several engagements, trips to Cary, Raleigh, Greenville, Ohio, and back again. Anchored on Sundays and clean breaks between weekends and weekdays that I had never known before. A consistency and steadiness that I craved jolted me for change.

I didn’t hear God – he was so silent, yet I knew he was working according to His word. I wanted Him to speak so loudly like he once did on those quiet Kosice days. But, I couldn’t find him admist the traffic, the technology, and the busy-ness.

A few weeks ago, it was as if God chose to awaken my heart again. I craved His word, wisdom, and stories of life-change.

Here I am once again, looking back, seeing all that God has done in just a year’s time. Amazed at his goodness. Enthralled by the ever-changingness of life and thankful.

I’m doing a study on gentleness with a friend and I’m 3 days in – and already I’m very convicted and in need of change. In need of Jesus to rapture my soul.

Here’s a few questions that this book asks of me:

1. Are you approachable? If not, what keeps others at a distance? If so, what is it that makes people comfortable around you?

2. What is the connection between love & gentleness?

3. What is your response when someone interrupts you? Are you kind and gentle or are you rude and disrespectful?

4. If your gentleness is an indication of your love for God, how much might an acquaintance say you love God?

Okay, talk about being hit in the face with a true reality – my lack of gentleness, which is an area that I want to reflect God in, that seemingly, I am not.

Oh Lord, give me gentleness.

I feel as if those “call before you dig” signs could apply here.

It’s interesting what happens once you get started and realize that God has a lot of things in store for us. He’s more interested in the deep heart work and the continual than the temporary and uncomfortable. To me, my life so far as been such a journey of figuring out who I’m not. I’m so interested to find out who I am. I haven’t had a lot of jobs in the working world – but I have held jobs that cause me to ask the harder questions of myself about calling and about deeper things than how fast I can type and if my resume is sharp. (because I type fast enough and my resume is a seemless collection of things I’ve learned but doesn’t necessarily reflect the heart of who I am.

I’ve need to call before I dig. I need to call on God to ensure that the process I’m about to undertake will lead somewhere – besides just feeling lost. Which, currently is a bit how I feel. Of course, it does have a bit to do with the pace at which life seems to be changing both in the working world and in my personal life.

So, be sure to call before you dig, and while you’re at it, dig deep.

To me, it’s so interesting that everyone wants to blame someone, always, until it comes to something good – and instantly, credit taken.

I just ran across this article on CNN – about, is it Obama’s economy yet?

The text saying:

The political question for the White House is how long those poll numbers will last. At some point, the “Bush Economy” is going to become the “Obama Economy.”

As if, one person, even our president could be “to blame” for the entire economy.

like me.

I’ve found that I have this issue with only seeing what’s right in front of me – and not with a perspective that I really need to have, fixing my eyes on the one place that matters. I guess this has been really resonating with me a lot lately…

It seems that in the Bible there are a lot of references to vision and sight. They aren’t that hard to think of…

without ______ the people perish.

affix your ______ on Christ, the author & perfecter of your faith..

we walk by faith and not by _______.

It was probably not that hard for you to fill those in, or maybe it was. I didn’t use call references, because I wanted you to see how it isn’t that hard to find verses that deal with our eyes, our vision, and our sight. Which, makes me think that what we see, what we affix our eyes on, in a physical and spiritual sense are very important. What we allow our eyes to rest on – gives credence to how we live our lives.

I want my eyes to rest, to sit fully on Jesus. They don’t all the time. I look to a lot of other things for satisfaction and I don’t have any problem admitting that. How do you keep your spiritual eyes from wandering? I’m so curious to know.