I can’t tell you how many blog posts I’ve written… or started writing about this week, and the events that have transpired. I know several of you read my “password protected post” which was not in anyway shape or form an attempt to gain more readers, or a marketing ploy (as I was accused of) but was simply because I did not want the whole free world (aka all of facebook) if they chose to have access to some very personal details of my life. I would have sent an email, but I have a feeling, that less of you would have read it, there is something about anything hidden that makes us even more intrigued.

This week has been a doozy for me emotionally, the ups and the downs, and the consistency of nausea.

This morning during my Beth Moore study, on David, Seeking a Heart Like His, which I absolutely love. (more on that later) I had the chance to process through all of my emotions that I experienced on Monday during the biopsy.

1. The unexpected. It has been said, to “expect the unexpected.” Which, I feel like I do a pretty good job of in the daily of life, but on this very day, it was a scary reality.

2. The release. I had been thinking about it for so long, well, since December (which is a long time to think about a biopsy) and I knew that at the end of the day I was going to be okay with the result no matter what it was, malignant or benign. That God, in His goodness, would carry me through and that He would work it together for good. And that, more than that, I needed to let go, and give it all to God. I am His anyway. Completely.

Today’s message was so good. It was about God, His goodness, remembering what He has done for us, and to believe that He is Good! We camped out in 2 Sam 7:28 for quite awhile, I was captivated by the thought of the Davidic covenant, the promise of a new leader, the lineage of Christ!

For you are God, O Sovereign Lord. Your words are truth, and you have promised these good things to your servant.

We talked through this verse, quite a bit.

1. HE is God.

2. His word is TRUTH. meaning it is TRUE. not only that, but the NIV says, His words are TRUSTWORTHY.

3. He has promised GOOD THINGS.

In all of this, I was so thankful, for these basic foundational truths of my walk with God. The clarity of it. And how this week, these 3 things were made real in my life, and I’m so thankful. The result of the test was good. Everything is fine. Cancer free!

If you were a part of this journey with me in prayer, you have NO idea how God used you. I hope I shed a little bit of light on it in this post. Thank you so very much.

I know I shouldn’t do a “happy valentine’s day” post. The mixed emotions on valentine’s day are almost more than religion or politics. But let’s face it, we’re all victims of commercialization, of assigned meaning, of pink and red candy hearts, and store displays (that whopped us in the face the day after Christmas!)

Assigned meaning? Yes. What I mean by that is, this is just a day, a beautiful one in fact, sunshine is streaming in my window as I write. (this fact alone is enough to celebrate even if you don’t celebrate this Hallmark day) The reason that this day brings baggage with it is what we’ve done to ourselves, it’s our own fault.

Valentine’s Day has often been criticised as just an excuse for consumerism, an opportunity for businesses. Consequently, the well-meaning tradition of sending Valentine cards has also been unfairly stained by cynics everywhere, as if it is Hallmark’s fault that people are only sending cards perfunctorily, without thought at all, but just to get over the holiday. Indeed, Valentine’s Day is the second largest card-exchanging holiday next to Christmas, making Hallmark the unmistakable industry leader. – The Not so Mushy Statistics

I once read a statistic that more break ups occur on or around Valentine’s day than any other day! How about that for the day of love. And for those that are happily in a relationship, this day brings about a weird pressure. We’re supposed to celebrate our love? More than any other day? I’m just not sure exactly how Hallmark wants me to do that.

Here are some more interesting Valentine’s day statistics:

• 85% of all Valentine cards are bought by women.

• 73% of flowers are bought by men, and only 27% are by women.

• Chocolate and candy sales reach profits of $1,011 billion during Valentines.

• Approximately one in four Americans do not celebrate the holiday at all. And 15% of American women (and even men) send flowers to themselves on Valentine’s Day.

But the more realistic, and what happened to me was, yesterday, in a store, I glanced at the flowers, and glanced at Jeremy and he said, “you want flowers?” And we left with flowers. I think we bought them together. With our joint checking account. Which category does that fall into?

In the end, I’m happy about an occasion that promotes the consumption of chocolate hearts and other confectionery treats.

I’m also excited about the fact that, the day after valentine’s all of these treats are on sale for 50-75% off. That’s something to be glad about.

Also, this free music from amazon. Who could pass that up?

So, suck it up, celebrate the good things. Go out for fondue, or don’t. But don’t be bitter, it’s the most unattractive quality you could possess.

For the past 2 days I’ve been tweaking, adding plugins, and trying to get my site where I’d like it.

Here are a few things that have changed.

1. The background color, probably the most obvious. Not sure that I’ll keep it this color, but for now, I’m liking it and how it makes the other colors pop!

2. The title fonts (posts & widgets) – I wanted something a little more girly, but not over the top. So Desyrel it was.

3. The picture – I added my personal picture and updated my mini bio on the about page.

4. Disqus for commenting, I wanted something a bit more interactive, so I stepped it up in this area and went with Disqus.

5. The header – I wanted something more robust and identifiable. I’ve wavered too long in this category.

6. The tag line – After reading John 10:10 – it seems like life to the full, is more correct than to the fullest, so I’ve updated this bit.

7. The header and footer are now grey, instead of black. Softens the page a bit.

8. Networked blogs – I added a little widget to the side, that connects with facebook. This will also help promote the blog via facebook.

What do you think? Anything you would add or take away?

in just a few short weeks I’ll get to find out if we’re having a boy or a girl (so yes, we are finding out!) Yippee! So, what do you think…
Is it a …

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Don’t think this baby won’t be hip! I’ve already started browsing etsy for the cutest little outfits and caps, and accessories!

Here are a few of the lovelies I found. Can’t wait to own a few of them, or make some of my own. Got my eye on some knitting needles, so we’ll see.

They are all linked up in a nice tidy pinterest board that you are welcome to check out for yourself.

I’m sure I’ll be adding more to this collection as I peruse the web. But honestly, I’ve been amazed at the lack of baby blogs and resources, seems like this is an untapped area of contribution. I know there are a lot of mommies out there that have a lot to say (daddies too!)

Who knows, maybe a new endeavor in the works?

I read a few weeks ago that eating for two does not mean eating double. Thank goodness. Mostly I have no appetite at all and can barely keep down the food that I do eat. I recently read a blog of a friend (also pregnant) who wrote out the things she was eating, and I found it oh so helpful, because honestly I had no clue what I could stomach.

Turns out these are the foods I can eat….

1. Grapes, green ones to be exact.

2. String cheese, thanks for clueing me in Jessica Mixon

3. Pretzel slims

4. Saltines (so glamorous, no?)

5. Apple sauce (organic)

6. Babybel cheese (love those little round wax cheese bundles)

The other area of severe confusion for me is what to drink? No caffeine, not that I desire it, but still. And water, I don’t really care for the stuff right now.

1. Sonic – lemon slush, or lemonberry

2. Lemonade (notice a trend?) I’m drinking organic from Trader Joe’s but when that runs out I’ll be searching for another brand, I’ve heard Simply Lemonade is good. Suggestions?

3. Sparkling juice, I have a collection from Trader Joes right now – Lemonade, Clementine, and Pomegranate

and you? Did you have go-to preggo foods?

My neighborhood from childhood is sprinkled with memories. Bike rides, and bruises, sandboxes, my neighbors themselves. It’s a quiet street, named Willow, with humble one story ranch style houses, each with its own carport, very homey, it’s a sweet place.

I visited my neighbor Mama Madalyn, she moved to Cary in 1955, and has lived in her little home since then, just tucked away, straight across my parent’s backyard, and down a set of homemade steps, through the close line, and you’re there, at her back door. Last December her husband of almost 50 years passed away. It’s hard to know what to say sometimes. At the funeral in December I was teary, especially when I talked to her, she was wrought with memories, happy ones. She just kept saying, “I wish Daddy Don could see how happy you are, he loved you so much.” I fought back tears, lots of them. I have fond memories.

Growing up, my mom and dad would send me to their house, now, I’m thinking you’re getting the sense to this Neighborhood is one-of-a-kind. Mama Madalyn and Daddy Don were the backdoor neighbors, Gary and Tootsie next door neighbors (sometimes we affectionately call them Dorky, don’t ask), the neighbors up the street from years past, PB and Sally, and down the street there was Buck.

Mama Madalyn and Daddy Don were in part like grandparents to my sister and me. They were there, to help me get over my fear of thunderstorms, to untangle my hair, I took naps there. Even during my dreaded middle school years, I shut myself up down there, so that I could avoid going to school the next day. We would even spend Christmas Eve at their house for a few years in a row.

When I visited last night, so many of these things flooded over me. And her love for her late-husband, was intense. Her memories were accurate and sharp. She was teary, I was too. I didn’t know what to say, but I cherish those memories. I am thankful for her in my life. Do you have someone like this in your life?

You must, you just must download this wallpaper. It’s lovely, and flowery, but it won’t overwhelm you with hearts and all of the hallmarkyness of Valentines, it just says lovely, and it makes me smile.

Here it is:

or you can download it here.

The lovebird joy logo at the bottom can be explained completely here. Much, much more to come on that!

It’s wonderful, the news, when you receive it.

I doubted it, even took a few of those little boxed up tests. I mean, how could something I bought off the shelf at Wal-Mart tell me if I’m having a baby?

But then, the doctor confirmed it, and it was official.

But, I was nervous, and still am, the what ifs, the questions, the tests, ugh.

But, the joy, the sheer and pure joy when that little baby was on that screen doing summersaults, flips, little jumps for joy, possibly sucking his or her thumb, it was the most amazing thing of my life. And that’s saying a lot, because my life has been quite amazing.

The joy that it is to have this little one flipping around in my tummy! The wonder! The amazement. God’s grace.

It’s been hard not to blog about it till now, I wanted to tell everyone I saw, and probably did.

I’ve started a journal of baby’s journey, this sweet jumping bean and the nausea, oh the nausea, and how the only real thing I care to eat is a lemon-berry slush from Sonic, oh and saltines. I will want to remember these days, these exciting moments of first finding out, of telling friends and family and of seeing that little one.

And the beauty of Psalm 139: 13 (well really all of Psalm 139, but specifically in this case):

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

And today, we got to see that happening, at 4.8cm (not quite 2 inches) this little life! Springing, leaping!

You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Psalm 16:11